Week 24 in the Utah Provo Mission

Temple 1

How did I do on my goals this week? They happened–not quite in the way I expected, but they happened. Remember what President McCune told me last President Interview? The Lord has a work for me to do here in the Provo Slate Canyon area. (I am so glad to continue serving with Hermana Flores — she is awesome and I am learning so much from her and with her.) We received the transfer information this morning, and Hermana Flores and I are both staying in the area for this next transfer. That will make my 5th transfer here. This past week I was feeling like a failure. I know I’m not, but I feel like I let the Lord down with all my weaknesses. (But then when I say that, the voice of Elder Holland comes into my mind when he says something like “God is used to working with imperfect people. So we should be too.”) This area is difficult, and again this past week I was just feeling: “get me out.” But when I heard that I was staying here this next transfer, it really humbled me and chastened me. At times I feel “Why on earth am I staying here? Who needs me here?” We’ve been all over the place in our area. But apparently the Lord wants me to continue serving here. Evidently, there is something I still need to do here.

While walking to our next appointment, we found this street--reminds me of BYU-Idaho.

While walking to our next appointment, we found this street–reminds me of BYU-Idaho.

This week has been an adventure. Last week I told you I was struggling inside, but I kept going. And on Friday I talked with a return sister missionary and she told me that what I’m feeling happens to a lot of sisters — good and obedient ones too. They feel like they never do enough and that they are carrying the burden on their shoulders. And what did she tell me? Breathe. Take a nap. Relax. You can’t share water from an empty pitcher. And ever since then, going to the temple, and hearing about transfers, I have been feeling more relieved. I don’t have those thoughts in my mind anymore. That burden is gone, and the Lord is helping me find joy in the work.

This morning we went to the temple! I love how when I enter the temple, the world just melts away, the noise disappears, and peace just feels my heart and soul. And while I was there, I felt this great calm inside me.

And right now, I’m writing part of this email on top of the big white Y in the Wasatch Mountains of Provo. The climb up this mountain reminded me of my mission.  It’s hard. It’s painful. The climb is steep, and our legs were on fire. But we kept going, and it got easier, and at the top we could look back and see how far we’ve come. I’ve been serving here in Provo for 7 months now, and yes, it has been hard. But it is also a blessing. I’m not alone. There is the third companion by our side — the Spirit of the Lord.

My goals for the week: 1. Study Hope, Unity, and Patience. (I won’t pray for patience… Haha… But I’ll study about it.) 2. De-stress and relax. 3. Trust the Lord. Thank you for all your prayers. ❤

P.S. I think I’m allergic to Utah….

Hermana Billings

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